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Woman

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14

Many are the times as a woman you have looked yourself in the mirror and everything is in conflict with the verse above “you works are wonderful” half of you is like ‘nay’..

If only I could change this and that, I wish I would have more this and have less that..this is the dissatisfaction that the cosmetic industry’s prey on. Hair extensions, hair dyes, eye lashes, lighter skin, plastic surgery and the list is endless. I was dissatisfied about something and here is what I found out. Content PG 13

Several months now I have been inquiring about God in matters of sex and the woman’s anatomy. I understand the biology and all that entails, but for once it was becoming personal. I began asking God why he created us women as receivers; I mean it’s intrusive, invading and very personal and while at it I understood something else maybe that have changed how I view God totally. God is brilliant, I am always like wow! Well thought. And I can truly say this of a woman’s anatomy.

Women’s sex and the vulnerability that it brings was protected in marriage and not just any marriage but a marriage where there is mutual respect, communication, love and protection just to mention a few. I strongly believe the craziness we see and hear out here is not God’s plan for us as women. We are meant to be treasured and when we give of ourselves sexually it’s not just an act but it’s supposed to be fulfilling, satisfying and honorable.

But for as long as our history goes the woman has been deceived, used and abused. I now understand why the past societies both in the Bible and past cultures were fighting for women to be married as virgins (believe it or not it was for your protection) emotionally, spiritually and physically. Most STIs are easily detected in men than in women and a woman can have an STI and by the time it’s discovered the disease has taken a toll on her body. While you can argue that condoms protects and in a sense they do but can they do the emotional hurt that comes when you realize he was just using you. You were his pleasure toy and now he is done playing with you and we end up numbing our pain and devastating ourselves even further by sleeping around or drugs. And spiritually, sex is the only sin we do to ourselves; it’s like taking a gun and shooting ourselves over and over, what about the seperation from God?

God is good and his plans for us does not entail pain and harm and we have to come to a point and acknowledge ‘fire burns’ and as long as you have opened the door to your sexuality it’s going to be a fire that you will have to quench or let it burn you (I was addicted to pornography and masturbation) and everyday with God’s help I am choosing to say no to this…

As women we have to avoid situations that are best describes “we were talking and the next thing well, I touched here ..you know I really cannot explain but we had sex” those momentarily lapse of reasons have to be avoided and if you are honest with yourself it’s a beautiful thing for someone to raise the dopamine levels in you as you simply loose your mind (God is brilliant and good and all good gifts including sex came from him) but when your mind returns you have to face yourself I hope it’s always praises and thanksgiving because if it’s not maybe you need to re-evaluate your actions.

God loves you, I cannot emphasize this enough and God want good for you and  sometimes this good means waiting, means saying no or yes, means forgiving, means surrendering, but I can assure you He loves you and dancing over you with singing. You are his most treasured creation and he will be walking with you a day at a time.

This is how to walk- be your sister’s keeper. (Sin thrives in secrecy) If you want for your sexuality to be honoring to God, self and others; then pray and ask God to give you like minded women/sisters and keep each other accountable and support one another should one of you miss the mark. This is both for the unmarried and married. The married are no longer safe. The sacred protection that people respected marriage with is gone to some extent so you too as a married woman you have a choice to remain faithful to your spouse.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14 If you don’t know this fully well..I pray that God through His Son Jesus Christ may enable you to know the plans and blessing he has for you in Christ Jesus. You are very precious.

Always woman

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My heart

I shared last night my story with the ladies from my church. God loves us all and care about you much… Just to retaliate why and what is important

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Ever Present

Where is God?

If I asked that question I am sure I would get different answers, as we all have different perspectives as to where He is.

Sometimes as we face life, we think God is far removed from us and from our situations.

I too have felt so and even believed this, however until recently did I realize God is very much in my life…humor me..

The first ever sky scraper was named ‘Tower of Babel’, well it was never completed but the vision was there. 

“Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.” But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building.” Genesis 11:4-5

And 

A scene from ‘tears in the sun’ where Bruce Wills and his team are asked to rescue a doctor from war torn Nigeria, in this case it’s a ran away prince who was working as a shepherd asked to rescue an estimate two million people from Egypt talk of the

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” Exodus 3:1-4

Psalms 139; is one of my favorite. I have lived it when I was struggling with self esteem or when I thought I was not good enough…. Verse 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” but there is a very big gap I skip to get to that favorite part. Let’s start at verse 1.

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalms 139:1-12

Creepy! Yet not in a gross way and this is why..He is not a stalker, or seeking to squash you if you do wrong but because He has your best interest at hand. You are his most precious creation. “When I consider your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower and crowned them with glory and honor”. Psalms 8:3-5. You notice in the creation story found in Genesis for everything else God said let there be and it was but for man He said let us make man in our own image and after our own likeness.

 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughtsGod! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. (Emphasis added) Psalms 139:13-18

King David understoood and knew God and comprehend God in such an intimate way that I am getting to know. Maybe this knowledge and his relationship with God is ultimately what made God refer to him “a man after my own heart”

Isn’t amazing to know that God is with you as you tuck your kids to bed, while you prepare your favorite meal, as you compile together the finding of your research, as you design your child’s nursery, as you balance the account, as you disagree with your spouse, as you are rejected by the girl/boy of your dream, as you struggle to overcome an addiction, as you struggle to say no to your best beer, as you visit your loved on in prison,….

God is in everywhere and in everything. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. John 1-3.

Maybe it’s time to exhale knowing that you are not in this alone and He immeasurably loves you unconditionally and he want to be involved in anything and everything you are doing and are about.

Maybe it’s time to remember the song ‘what a friend we have in Jesus’….when it says “oh what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry every to God in prayer”

 Maybe it’s time to say as David “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”.- Psalms 139:23-24

And finally,

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

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You are loved

Did you know your loved as you are?

Love is an innate need wired in each one of us. We crave it, we need it, we strive. to be loved. It’s not for some of us it’s a need in everyone.

These three words change us despite being the most abused “I love you”, we treasure them-hoping that they person who says them to us means them, because to be loved means we are worthy, we are accepted, we mean something to someone, we are valued. And where a person has been hurt by someone who said they love them will always receive love with mistrust and the question “why” why do you love me?

This is the mistrust that people who have struggled with sin and especially a sin that they are in bondage to ask themselves ‘why’ why would God love me? Because according to them, they are loathsome, they are unworthy, they can’t stand themselves why therefore can a Holy God stand them.

The irony is that these Holy God who hate sin loves the sinner and it’s time we differentiate between the sin and the sinner. Sin is anything that we do that is not in accordance to the perfect will of God, sin separates us from God, sin kills. A sinner is a person created in God’s image and after his own likeness who does something (sin) and feels separated from God.

Then both their eyes were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made covering from themselves. Then the man and the woman heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:7-8

While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisee saw him eating with the tax collectors, they asked his disciples: why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners? On hearing this, Jesus said to them, It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. Mark 2:15-17

The heart of God is always clear, he loves us and the invitation is open. He loves you the sinner but absolutely hate the sin -darkness and light cannot stay together and Christ is the way out. I am the way, the truth and the life-love God love demonstrated through the person of Christ is the way out so today if you asking why would he love me because he is love …his essence is love and absolutely loves you.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him…. John 3:16-17

Why?” Because you are loved by Love – yes you

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Upcoming interview Today @5.45 pm on NTV

As the world is coming interm with the reality that sex addiction is a mental issue. Our founder spoke with BBC on their show. Talk it out!

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Only in Christ

The greatest lie is that I (you) can do it by your own strength. Recognizing this belief is an idol in itself because we are trying to be God. The original lie when the devil tempted Eve she can have wisdom like God.

Genesis 3:6. When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

Wisdom is recognizing that we can do nothing-absolutely nothing without the help of God.

Psalm 127:1-2 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Yet the flip side of the same coin is

Philippians 4:13. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Humility and wisdom is taking a deep long look at self and recognizing that I (You) cannot/can’t.

Can’t stand

Can’t overcome

Can’t sustain yourself

Can’t earn

Can’t be righteous- Isaiah 64:6. All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags……

Can’t be anything

However, with God and in Christ you are everything

You are victorious,

You are righteous

You are Holy, strong, rich…

You are a member of God’s family.

All these is found in Christ……only in Christ. Therefore consider;

Matthew 11:28. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. and Isaiah 55:1. “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.

The invitation still stands….from a loving God to his most priced treasure (you and I)

Revelation 3:20. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

I pray you will know how much you are loved. It’s because of our sins that Christ was nailed on the cross as we celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ. All this was because of you and I. Open your heart, let Christ in.

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Reflection

As individuals who struggle to be free from addiction. The one thing one may struggle with is does God love me as I am, does God love me even as I strive to be free from sin?

In many cases we keep trying to be free and earn God’s love. Now consider this.. .

“…..To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood” Revelation 1:5.

Notice the word love and free above. God love is ongoing and active written in the present continuous tense while free; is worded in the past tense. A finished thing.

I believe as a Christian even though you could be struggling with sin, our focus should be on how much God loves us and actively remember we are already freed from the sin that easily entangles us.

Prayerfully ask Jesus to reveal his love for you in a language you can understand

May the love of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always

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One time giving

At A Second chance Consults we are looking for persons who are seeking to do a one time donation. At the moment these activities are what we need funding on.

9th March 2019 -Kshs 18,000 approximately $118 to pay for the website.

June 2019 -Kshs 80,000 approximately $800 to apply and for air ticket to Cape Town South Africa to attend All Nations Family conference.

If you want to write back on the same or need clarification reach us on secondchanceconsults@gmail.com or visit our contact icon on the website.

To give visit donate icon on the website.

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Whose child are you


In one of primary school books I read years ago, there was a story titled “who caused the fire” in the story if my memory serves me right there was a jackal, firewood, a jar of water, a grandfather, a mother, a child, a cat and a candle. The story ends up with the cat knocking up a candle that fell and ended up causing a fire that burned down the whole house….the question asked at the end of the story was who caused the fire? Was it the candle? The cat or the jackal that began it all or did the action of each family member contribute to the house burning down?

Many times we see actions of an individual and those action can be traced back to the individual ‘s parents-where we see the individual behaves more or so like the father or mother behaved and if we trace back further we realize even he too can’t we totally blamed because he/she is behaving like their parent. Thus, we beg to ask the question, how far back do we look? How far can we cast the blame?, was it the son or the father, or the grandfather or maybe the great grandfather whose name no one knows.  Surely, it has got to be someone. 

We are a product of our upbringing and in many cases as we bring up our kids as we were  brought up, the family for most part is the channel through which pass down values, traditions, behaviors just to mention a few.

Kenya is plagued with a large number of teenage pregnancies and this is my take. The teenage is not an unique problem that will be treated sorely by focusing on the teens, we the adults have to take a long look at ourselves and if the teenage is to change; we have to be on the forefront of the change process. 

After all these are our children, they have fashioned their behaviors after us, it is we who have passed down the values they now live, it is us who are not faithful to our spouses and partner, it is us who have taught them identity is based on how we look and dress and we have to look good no matter the cost, even if it means selling our bodies to the highest bidder.

The kids burn the school and we argue they are arrogant, but have they not learned from us; we have taught them, matching on the streets solves everything, we have taught them ‘bado bambano’ (keep on the strive).

So how do we break the chains of what may not be healthy in our families, how do we end the tyranny and has been passed down from one generation to another?

This my humble opinion, we want our children to change for the better then we the adult have to take a clear look at our behavior: how we talk, how we handle our grievances, how we handle our sexuality.

Sadly the era of “I said so” is long gone, we live in an era that asks why?, that looks at our behavior and character before obeying our instructions. Thus something has to give. We the adults have to preach water and drink water if we want to see change.

In the book of proverbs 22:6 found in the Bible says  “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Can we honestly look at our selves and say yes I have taught my kids well? If truly that is the case then trust God will restore your child even if they have strayed- the one who promises does not lie.

If not, do all you can do to get it right with God- God is always waiting with open arms for a sinner to get back to him. And this is true for the young adult, teen or kids who has no good influence- you too can approach God if you desire a different life. Salvation is not limited to adults Christ says whoever comes to me I will not reject.-Maybe it’s you as a child that will teach the adults in your life what is right, what is noble what is praiseworthy, what pleases God.

Going back to the foundations we see God’s heart  in the commandments Exodus 20:1-17 “And God spoke all these words 

  • “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”You shall have no other gods before me. 
  • You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
  • You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
  • “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
  • “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
  • “You shall not murder.
  • “You shall not commit adultery.
  • “You shall not steal.
  • “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
  • “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” 

The truth is that none of us has kept the above commandment-thus we have not met God  standard and we all deserve death for we all have sinned and fall short of God’s glory….none of us can say we are good and if we say we are good then we call God a liar. The truth is that salvation is a gift to us by God who gave his son to die on our behalf-paying up everything that we ever did on the cross, no matter what we have done it’s forgiven. 

We cannot keep blaming the generation before yours. You have a choice to make. What kind of life do you want to leave? What legacy do you want to leave behind? Whose child will you be? Forgive those that were before because I believe they did not know any better, forgive yourself for all you have done. Allow the love of Christ to wash you clean and transform you into his likeness. 

God loves you and for this reason he hang on the cross- to forgive your sins, to make you alive, to give you a new identity, so you could have life in abundance, to shower you with kindness, love and mercy, to show his splendor through you and the life you lead through Christ Jesus, to have eternal life……

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2018 in Brief

Happy new year to all, thank you for your invaluable support in the year that was.

Clients.
16 people were reached, 8 are among those who began discipleship process in 2017 and the other 8 were people who heard Ruth (I) speaking on radio or read my story online both by the nation and the star paper.
In this 7 were male and 9 were female. The outcome of this is that sex addiction is not a man only problem but women too are in the web of addiction but are getting help despite the shame and stigma associated with sex addiction.


Fundraising
Do you want to give? Our organization is non-profit thus, fundraising is a continuous activity that is very much needed to keep doing the work A Second Chance Consults does.
To give visit our website https://secondchanceconsults.org/donation/
Note: The icon give you different options of giving whether one is in Kenya or other parts of the world.


Training
7 trainings took place in 2018: 2 of this were at a high school in Nairobi and another in Narok, 2 at institutions of higher learning in Mombasa and Machakos, 2 conducted by Kenya Children’s Home one in Nairobi and Soila, and one at a church in Nairobi.

Launching

In July of 2018, a launch took place where both the organization and a book that is very instrumental to this ministry was publicly launched. In attendance were 18 people, as a result of this, we have an opportunity to teach and share with a local institution that works with children until they are adults.

The book “Love Unlimited:Set free by a greater love” is Ruth’s founder of A Second Chance Consults in which she shares her story of addiction to pornography and how God’s love set her free. You can get your copy on Amazon kindle on this link https://www.amazon.com/Love-Unlimited-Ruth-Njagi-ebook/dp/B06WD7QJNM or if you need a hardcopy you can call Ruth on 0725799291 going for Kshs. 1,000

Media Coverage
I was privileged to have my story aired on Radio Jambo and on The Star newspaper (Kenya based media house), the coverage was helpful in creating awareness of addiction and the help that is available and where to receive it. I received clients as a result of them listening and reading my story in the media.


Networking
I was able to network with different institutions and individuals , one of them being Pearls and Treasures Trust an organization based in Kenya that deals with recovery for post abortive women, Present Age Ministry and organization based in the U.S.A dealing with rescuing girls and women who have been trafficked for sexual purposes, some individual may include Sharon Shalter founder of family watch international, Carlton Deal working with serve the city Brussels….just to mention but a few.
We hope this network will bring further connections and expansion of our organization both locally and internationally.

How to Pray in 2019

  • The people in addiction that I am working with, will continue to receive freedom and that God will bring others my way in this year.
  • Pray for a prayer and emotional support system for me: that is, people praying for me and the ministry and also are speaking into my life.
  • Pray for the people that will be reached in the month of January; that God will be preparing their heart.
  • Will be traveling to Uganda in January for training and to working on being officially being part of All-Nations a world wide organization with hubs in Kansas, South Africa, Thailand and Uganda.
  • Pray for salvation for one of my clients *Amy not real name who is planning to commit her life to Christ but is hesitant.

A big big thank you!

  • To God for his compassion on us, forgiving ours sins through Christ Jesus and giving us new identities in the Him. The ministry solely exist because of the grace of our lord Jesus Christ.
  • For God being gracious and seeing us through the year 2018 and keeping us alive in 2019
  • The clients; those listening to God and are willing to change and seek help in realizing this freedom from addiction.
  • To the individual’s who have given this month. And made it possible to for me to live with dignity and continue reaching out to those in need.

Imagine

Imagine being imprisoned by a habit that you cannot stop. At this point it doesn’t matter how you got here all you know is that you are in it. Going in circles and not gaining any grounds but drowning more and more. Now imagine someone holding your hand and helping you out of the prison.

You don’t have to imagine anymore. The person reaching out to you loves you and cares; we at A Second Chance Consults we only play a part God does the rest. He knows and calls you by name.

Do you need help? Do you know someone who needs help? Reach us

https://secondchanceconsults.org/contact/