Forgiveness and porn addiction

I have often heard people ask me “What is the use, I already know that I am going to watch porn, why try to stop” being there; I remember what it feels to despair…when you already know and I say this with due all respect that not even God can stop me. When there is this resilience and one mindedness a devotion to self destruct and watch porn.

At time you are not even trying to stop… In my life, I used to call these periods “free fall” this would sometimes go on for hours leading to days of porn binging. Until you cannot watch anymore because you are done, you are literally throwing up and are disgusted with yourself.

But because you can’t die or flash yourself in the toilet; the only thing to do: walk down the memory lane of how you got to that point. You start remembering the avenues that you should have taken, they were there and are always there. You know that you disobeyed, you let yourself down again, because you had promised to never do it again.

Knowing you have no one to blame but yourself….what then?

How do I feel right again you ask?

Self hatred, denial, doing good, praying or forgiveness.

There was no one to blame…all I needed was my phone and the internet; and I was good to go bulldozing anyone who tried to stop me. When I was done, only then would I ask the most stupid yet legitimate question: how did I fall? Then I would recount the people I bulldozed to get my way, and God was at the very top of the list. How then could I forgive myself? ….from Ruth Njagi book “Love Unlimited: Set free by a greater love Pg 45 her autobiography of being set free from porn addiction

The Bible talks much about forgiveness and love. God loves for us and how we are to love others. I came to realize that God forgiveness is there but we fail to receive it as long as we are not able to forgive and let go of this guilt and the weight of sin we carry on our shoulders.

Peter asked Jesus how many time we ought to forgive those who sin against us and Jesus responded seventy times seven time Matthew 18:21-22. If that is what is expected of us towards others then we ought to even forgive ourselves more, why? Love others as you love yourself. Matthew 22:39.

Friends it is simple, love and forgiveness goes hand in hand. Christ loved/s us and forgave/gives our sins then and now, this is accomplished by his abounding love for mankind to the point of death.

Today, I pray that although you be in addiction; the Lord reveals how much he loves and already has forgiven you if you are in him. I pray that you will love yourself so that you can forgive yourself for hurting yourself even as you forgive those that have hurt you. I pray God’s love through Christ Jesus may abound in you now and forever. Amen

Note.

You can find Ruth book here

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Forgiveness and porn addiction

  1. I am really struggling with musturbation and porn addiction……. I have really tried to stop buying have been defeated several times.What should I do to completely stop ths act?

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    1. Hi William, thank you for reaching out. Porn and masturbation when it becomes an addiction is hard almost impossible to quit by yourself hence the need to get help. My organization main work is in facilitating this process totally depending on God on people who want out. Is that what you want? Then we can work out a process of meeting and starting your healing.
      Ruth

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